'I'm a vegetarian!' she cries!!

Today I completed a short-term contract with an agency working at the National Exhibition Centre (NEC), Birmingham. I was working for a company who were exhibiting at a large three day long trades fair. They were looking for a chef to cook a barbecue menu to entice visitors to their displays and I guess in part to provide 'corporate hospitality' to potential clients. It was really a lot of fun despite several near-disasters. Yesterday, not only did I nearly not make it to work by missing the exit off and finding myself on the motorway north-bound. But I also managed (may I add through no fault of my own) to nearly burn down the NEC! But in order not to ruin mine or anyone's reputation, I will decline to say exactly what happened. It suffices to say that it was all under-control.

I cooked several dishes provided by Aubrey Allen, an excellent butchers. We offered Thai Chicken Kebabs, Pork Apple and spiced Warwickshire chipolatas, Lamb Kofta or Minted Shish Kebabs, Chinese Pork, marinated Cajun Chicken and Beef Kebab seasoned with Maldon salt and cracked black pepper. Most days I worked on the grill from about 10.30 till 3:30PM, continually cooking and handing out samples. Today, I offered my array of sizzling meats, adding a little banter about the firm I was actually representing. We had plenty of visitors (some who may have merely been there for the hospitality- we also offered drinks and other smacks. No-one need buy lunch at the NEC, you could easily have been well watered and fed by visiting our stand.

But I think the funniest event of the whole few days, was earlier today when I thought I would try and entice a couple of young teenage looking girls to a sausage or perhaps a large juicy beef kebab, slightly medium with a little pink juice seeping around the edge of the silver? As I balanced the huge platter of meats in front of one of the girls, she turned her face in disgust and cried, 'I'm vegetarian!'. For a second I thought she might have been sick right then and there, as she ran away from me in utter disgust. I could do nothing else but make a faint smile as I called after her offering a desperate (yet slightly hollow) apology.